Haiii. I am sad. Parang I'm so down right now and I don't exactly know why. Parang ngayon nagssink-in na I feel so alone kahit na maraming nanjan for me. Bakit ako ganito I don't like this. Dahil sa ganito ako, I stayed at school today 'til 730 pm (buti na lang open yung DO until that time, which is unusual). I was dismissed na by 440, then I stayed at the office 'til 730. Kwentuhan lang with DOPs. Because that's one place I can laugh, and forget about my worries, kahit for a while lang. It's like the DO has become my nearest refuge, that whenever I feel like so alone or konti na lang maiiyak na ko, I'll go there. Hay.

Actually, may pinanggagalingan yung sadness ko, though I feel deep inside that hindi lang ito yung cause. Hindi ko na talaga alam kung ano pa yung ibang cause. But the main reason of my sadness is, in less than 3 hours, LJ will be turning 20 na. Okay, we're friends. But iba pa rin na he'll be a non-teenager na tapos "wala" na kami. I mean..Ewan. I can't explain. Then of course, I got used to the 4 years na nakasama ko siya on his birthday..Well, for 2 years ko lang pala siya nakasama personally. Pero, all four years of his birthday, I was there. I mean, there were the greetings at exactly 12 midnight, the sweet texts and "I thank God he gave me to you" messages. Hay. Let me recall.

March 24, 2003. This was the first time I told him "I love you". As in "I love you" in a romantic kind of way. I remember pa na he was in his school nun sa Claret, having training. Then, his friends told me na nagwala daw siya sa tuwa when I told him that. Waaah.

March 24, 2004. I was with him March 23 pa lang. Because it was his prom day. I remember that it was my finals week at St. Scho nun, and I will be having 2 final exams the next day. But I still came at his prom. So while the transition from March 23 to 24 was happening, we were together.

March 24, 2005. I don't think we were in good terms during this time. Kasi 'til April, before his grad ball, nag-away kami for 2 months yata. But still, I remembered him and valued him as my own.

March 24, 2006. This was when my kabarkada Reg celebrated her 18th birthday. Same day. But after going to Reg's debut celebration, I went to LJ's naman because he was celebrating his birthday with his blockmates. I wouldn't miss that.

Haay. Grabe, this is so sad. What will happen now at March 24, 2007? I still want to be that special person who'll make him very happy on his 20th birthday..But, can I do that and will he allow me to? :(

Help. I am so sad. :(