yeaaaaah i'm so excited. :D

5 1/2 hours before christmas! ayayay! *festive mode*

i actually felt the christmas spirit just this morning, in church. the people were just so jolly that i can't help na mahawa. nyahaha. all were greeting each other, tapos lahat parang walang problema! :) which made me think, why not be happy too diba?! no sense in thinking of my problems and letting these make me miss the excitement brought by the season :) join the people! besides, this is the time to celebrate and remember our baby jesus' coming into this world :)

it's not about us anyway, it's about him. :)

siksik, liglig, umaapaw naman ako for our lord! i just wanna praise him and praise him and praise him! for me this has been a tough year, daming napagdaaanan. i committed so many mistakes, i hurted so much people, i hurted myself, said hi and goodbye to people, so much unexpected happenings. yung mga ayaw kong matapos, natapos na. napaksakit pero, i can say that this was (waaah WAS na! matatapos na 2006 eh haha) the year which really taught me to be more mature in all aspects of my life, spiritually lalo. dahil sa mga problems, these made me cling more to our father, hayayay masarap lang talaga being with him. :)

add to that, always talagang timely ang message ni lord to each one of us.

the message sa church kanina was basically about rejoicing, and being happy. i was really moved, lalo na the message was delivered by pastor dave na super clear, ang galing galing talaga. most people find it very hard to find happiness, mainly because we rely on our external environment, which is very very uncontrollable. most people say, "i'll be happy, if *insert whatever condition here*." i quote john maxwell, "if you make happiness your goal, you are almost always destined to fail." anak ng tokwa, we will never be happy if we think that way! that kind of happiness is natural happiness, compared to supernatural happiness, which is happiness within. yon, yon ang totoo. :D no matter how many or how great your problems are, hindi ka basta-basta manghihina coz you have this true happiness. then will you be able to experience god's favor and be able to live your best life. :) happiness is not a feeling, IT'S A CHOICE. :)

when will you start living your best life? start TODAY! don't wait til the year ends, coz now is always the best time! :D get up and go! the bible tells us to always be happy, it says that we should always rejoice: Psalm 118:24 "This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it."

and, we must always rejoice because "The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; HIS MERCIES NEVER COME TO AN END. They are new every morning." (Psalm 188) :)

so, why let problems drown us? masasayang lang mga araw natin, coz even problems have purposes in our lives, sabi nga diba "And we know that all things work together for our good for those who love him, and are called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28) even if mahirap intindihin at times kung bakit tayo dumadaan sa mga ganung klaseng problema, let us just entrust all our worries and fears to the Lord, coz trust me, he knows what he's doing. :)

tanong din ng marami, how do i live my life to the fullest and how do i experience god's favor? eto lang yun, 3-point technique (haha parang kill bill):

1. be thankful for each day.

2. grow in your faith with god.

at ang aking favorite,

3. FIND YOUR JOY AND COMPLETENESS IN GOD. :)

i myself is in the process of learning to trust god completely, so i'm not just blogging this dahil ito narinig ko sa church. but i'm blogging this because i am able to understand the message brought to me by the lord, kasi nga, dumadaan ako sa butas ng karayom ngayon. yuck, lalim. haha. ndeee, i am experiencing the biggest trial (so far!) in my life (na alam kong wala pa sa kalingkingan ng mga ma-eexperience ko pa), but still, by his grace, he makes me appreciate him more and he makes me feel that i am loved more than ever, lalong-lalo na ngayon that i am going through a tough time. i believe that in the midst of problems, dun tayo hawak ni lord nang sobra, hindi lang hawak, kundi kapit. we just have to feel it. we have a choice.

my god loves me so much and i acknowledge it, ikaw? kapit ka na rin, makisabay sa kanya. :)

Thursday, December 21, 2006

on second thought..

"CTRL+Z = The most popular PC keyboard shortcut..Wish LIFE had one too."

as i logged in onto my yahoo messenger, i have this habit of checking out the status of my friends. this is because i believe that kahit di kami nagchchat (since i rarely go visible nowadays haha) i get ideas on how they're doing just by looking at their status. then this status above struck me the most. hehe. ang kulit. parang ako "oo nga naman.."

yes, please allow me to be emo first because the weather and climate's cooperating with me, so you too ladies and gentlemen, would do well if you cooperate with me. :)

why is it that it's hard to undo things that we have already done, especially if those are things which caused hurt to people? di bale kung good things eh, i don't care if they can't be undone. but hurtful words said, negative actions done..it just can't be erased from other people's memories. why is it that it's so hard to make people forget? forget in a way that these people have learned to let go of any hurt they felt when you've done a thing to them. they say everything takes time. yes, totoo. but why is it that sometimes, when you thought you've done a successful job trying to let go of something hurtful, when you see that person again babalik lahat ng memories, sad or happy, and it makes you miss everything about the person again that sometimes you would want to take the risk again even if it means starting all over again and being hurt again? labo talaga natin noh? hehe.

kung meron nga lang talagang CTRL+Z in our lives, then everything would be better. it would be nice if for example, you had a fight with your mom, then you suddenly realized what you've done, you would just have this CTRL+Z on your system then everything will go back to the time before you had the fight with your mom. ok sana yun.

but then, things would be different.

we wouldn't learn how to learn.

now, who would want a CTRL+Z in their lives? :)

# random thougths @ 11:42 AM

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

i want to drive alooone.

how sad. my wednesday night went down the drain. just because i have no transpo. i am supposed to be there now at metrowalk, for nowie's debut or at ust, celebrating with friends for the paskuhan. these are the days that i wish that i would be able to drive alone, without worries coming from my parents. hayayay. i really need to get my license next year, and fast!

tapos after getting my license, start na to practice by having a chaperone sa pagpunta sa school and pag-uwi from school! that was the plan months ago, but still, wala pa rin. grabe, i need to move if i want to push through with this plan! i need a chaperone, sino pwede? hehe. :)

# random thougths @ 8:56 PM

Monday, December 18, 2006

agree with me?

i got this from my friend's multiply blog and she got this from her friend's multiply blog. hehe. i just thought that i needed to share these to you guys, lalong-lalo na break-up season nga ngayon diba? hehe. but this message doesn't only pertain to romantic relationships, but with any other experience which includes LETTING GO. -_-

"To let go isn't to forget, not to think about, or ignore. It doesn't leave feelings of anger, jealousy or regret. Letting go isn't about winning or losing. It's not about pride and it's not about how you appear, and it's not obsessing or dwelling on the past. Letting go isn't blocking memories or thinking sad thoughts, and doesn't leave emptiness, hurt or sadness. It's not about giving in or giving up. Letting go isn't about loss and it's not about defeat. To let go is to cherish the memories, but to overcome and move on. It is having an open mind and confidence in the future. Letting go is learning and experiencing and growing. To let go is to be thankful for the experiences that made you laugh, made you cry, and made you grow. It's about all that you have, all that you had, and all that you will soon gain. Letting go is having the courage to accept change, and the strength to keep moving. Letting go is growing up. It is realizing that the heart can sometimes be the potent remedy. TO LET GO IS OPENING A DOOR, CLEARING A PATH, AND SETTING YOURSELF FREE."

whew. says it all, right? :)

# random thougths @ 10:15 AM

Friday, December 15, 2006

feet torture

grabe i killed my feet today. wawa naman my feetie..haha. i was out again the whole day, started it by having the DO christmas party sa school. the program was fun, but but..you know..haha. merong hindi nakausap. napakanapakahirap if you have an unfinished business with a person, na you just don't know how to relate or talk to him/her if you guys see each other. know what i mean? ganun.

after the christmas party, of course may aftermath pa yan. ayaw pa mag-uwian eh. so we went pa to festival mall and watched the nativity story. the movie was nice, favorite ko si papa joseph! ang macho macho talaga haha. watch the movie, you'll get what i'm saying. sana lahat na lang ng lalaki ganun, tapos god-fearing pa. waah. :) hahaha.

after that, i bought plato wraps for my dinner. ang sarap talaga, namiss ko yun. then shempre being a matakaw girl, nagdinner pa ulit at fat choi (ata can't really remember the name). bought wanton noodle soup plus shrimp dumplings haha ang sarap. :D window shopping pa konti after then mike dropped me off at bicutan, nakauwi na ko mga 10:45, haba pila sa trike! hay i'm so tired. :

wala lang, i just wanted to share what happened today. obvious bang vacation mode ako lagi na ko nagbblog? i just wish by next year if our 3rd term starts i'll still be able to update my blog regularly. :)

# random thougths @ 11:42 PM

Thursday, December 14, 2006

break-up season

besides christmas season, THIS is the break-up season.

haha. it was just weird that i experienced one just more than a month ago, my friend experienced it a month ago, a friend is experiencing it right now, and to make things even better, we heard this girl in school (kasi nasa washroom kami ni ching, this was after our comcalc finals nung monday) saying that "break-up season" daw ngayon. haha. ang kulit.

napaisip tuloy ako.

is it really possible that god's designing "seasons" such as these? hehe. ang kulit lang, sabay-sabay. was it really his purpose to make so many people learn all at the same time? pwede, di ba? for instance, may makakaintindi sa friend ko who's also a victim of this dreadful season, ako. we could help each other, and keep on reminding each other that only a part of our life is taken away, and we still have ourselves and god to pick all the pieces up and start all over again. to have a clean slate. that we are more pure than ever. that we already have the capacity to know what to avoid and when to avoid. that we are more armed (and fabulous!) and ready than before for the things in store for us.

there goes my melancholic side. i'm still not sleepy kasi, and what i do during these times is to think. think about any possible thing that can be thought of. wala lang. it's just fun sometimes that you get to think of some things that normally most people won't have time to think about. or think about what's been happening to your life, like ako i often think about if this or that is/was the right decision. it's like most of the time i evaluate myself. and mostly this happens inside my room. hehe. that's why sometimes i tend to over-think things. na parang pag may nasabi ako sa isang friend, he/she will just comment "jOn, naisip mo pa yun?!" or "ok ka lang? wala nang nakakapansin nun!" haha. i'm just so in touch with my inner side whenever i am alone. like now, everybody in the house is already in their rooms, handa nang matulog (except for my ate of course, who's having her gig with her band someplace..haha).

nako, i'm being over-reflective here ha. hehe. ewan ko ba, memories just came rushing in. yung happy memories na mapapangiti ka na lang talaga kasi those were memories which are really unforgettable, na kasalanan pag nakalimutan mo. it makes me miss IT tuloy, but not in a negative kind of way kasi as i've said in my previous post, i've learned to let go. pero wag niyo muna ako ihaharap sa kanila nang magkasama. bwahehe. i'm not that strong okay, mga 3 years after na lang. haha. :p

tomorrow na DO christmas party! i hope everything goes well, hindi lang sa program per se, but dun sa mga taong makakausap ko (if you know what i mean..hehe). i just hope that i won't be too distracted and sana ma-enjoy ko yung party :D ok, wag na kayo mag-comment about dito. lalo ka na ching, ate joy, pat, at mom. hahaha. beh. satin na lang yun.

namimiss ko na fishballs ni manong sa may st.schooo. yayain kita, sama ka? :)

# random thougths @ 10:47 PM

oops bum. my bad.

bigla akong tinamad pumunta sa block christmas party. er. i was excited pa naman. hm. anyway. nagbuhay bum kasi ako today that's why tumuloy-tuloy na at hanggang ngayon di pa ko kumikilos for the party and i don't plan na kumilos. if you wana make me go to a party, dapat wala na ko sa bahay umaga pa lang para i won't to do my bum style of living. hay. na-sad naman ako hehe.

marami kaya pupunta? hm. so far mga 15 lang ata eh.

bawas pa ng isa.

anyway, have fun guys. :)

# random thougths @ 6:08 PM

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

reconstruction # 20343948

YAAAAAY. my site's up and running again. WITH links. but the pictures are too big, i can't make 'em smaller. the photos seem normal when i preview them from blogger.com, pero sa actual lumalaki. oh well. though i was amazed with myself that i was able to remember a handful of my friends' links. nice memory. hehe. sa mga di ko maalala, coz i'm sure i'm missing 5-8 of my friends' links, ibig sabihin lang nun hindikayomadalas mag-update. :p

hehe. kaya pag napadaan kayo dito, please leave a message on my tagboard CONTAINING YOUR LINK so i could add you back. :)

# random thougths @ 11:30 PM

wahooo kapagod

whattaverytiringdayitis. i was out the whole day! okay lang, the exhaustion was worth it, kasi at least i feel more productive pag wala sa house, kasi if nasa house lang ako the whole day, all i do is sit in front of the pc and stay there the whole day. or humiga sa couch and watch tv all day long. plus pig out, plus sleep! buhay tamad. haha. and, my tummy's getting fatty na (buti pa tiyan ko tumataba! bakit arms and legs ko hinde!) because after eating, i just do nothing. hayayay. need to get out of this habit. *please remind me to have my tummy exercises everyday, will ya?*

yay! i'm going out again tomorrow! woohoo for our block party! it'll be held at greenhills, sama ka? hehe. kahit de-blocked na kami since 1st year 2nd term, we still managed to have a christmas party! :) i miss those people, i just wish that we will have a class na c36 lang lahat! haha, quite impossible. :)

i just bought a unisex cap from hang ten earlier this afternoon at the Mall of Asia! sinamahan ako (and sinamahan ko) si micko my kapatid blockmate. sinamahan niya ko coz i would be buying something nga and i'd be needing a guy to have a second opinion if papasa nga bang unisex ang bibilin ko then sinamahan ko siya coz he has never gone to mall of asia, kaya happy kami pareho! haha. :D i got the idea from JV, my churchmate about the gift na pwede ipang-exchange gift. i'd be using this cap for our DO christmas party on friday. ang ganda ganda ng cap, ayoko na siya ipamigay! haha. sana akin na lang! or you guys can give this to me, tutal magcchristmas na! P195 lang oh :p

inggit ako sa makakatanggap nito! akin na lang! haha.

speaking of christmas, i am excited for the things to come sa mga susunod na araw! i can feel the christmas aura, lakad ka lang sa labas sa gabi, you'll know what i mean. :) parang there's just something in christmas nights which makes you tingly all over. just the thought of going to church with the christmas spirit, tapos yung noche buena plus plus plus other eating sessions (ang saya saya!), the gift-giving, lahatlahatlahat. it's just nice to see people very cooperative sa celebration na to, nakakatuwa. :)

ikaw, excited ka na ba? ako OO. :D

# random thougths @ 8:39 PM

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

now what?

okaaaay. i now have a new blog skin. buuuuut i have a big problem. I WASN'T ABLE TO SAVE MY PREVIOUS BLOG CODE. andun lahat ng liiiinks. and the tagboard. and..and..everything. waaah.

now what? :(

# random thougths @ 2:14 PM

random post # one million

haha. it's been almost 3 weeks na pa lang wala akong post dito. maybe it's because ang gloomy kasi ng blog ko na pag vinview ko siya tinatamad na ko mag-update. maiba nga yung skin. haha. :)

2nd term in la salle is finally over! well, at least for me. i only had two finals kasi, comcalc and oblicon. nagsabay pa sa first day, which was yesterday. so now, liwaliw time na lang ako. browse ng internet, text all day, pig out (kahit wala masyado pagkain dito sa bahay haha), magyaya ng friends umalis, wait for christmas parties (SBC, DO and block! yaaaay!) and my favorite, MATULOG. whooo.

tapos ang saya pa kasi this christmas season '06 ako pinakamaraming pera. haha. fulfilling pala na you saved up during the year and now dodoblehin ng nanay mo yung naipon mo. haha. :p masaya i-continue, it makes you restrain yourself, lalo na pag ang dami mo nakikita sa mall, yaya ng yaya si pat mag-quiapo, kumain sa masasarap na resto, at most of all, multiply online shopping! waaah! *weakness* haha.

this just suddenly popped out of my mind habang nag-iisip ng mattype dito sa blog. hehe. i remembered my dynamic duo friend ching na may napakagandang polka dotted bag and green cute cute doll shoes (na i wished heels na lang siya haha) ay nagsend sakin ng text about symptoms of zero love life. nakakatawa siya pero minsan parang totoo.

1. MAHILIG KUMAIN.

2. SANAY SA OUTINGS.

3. TULOG NG TULOG.

4. TV/COMPUTER ADDICT.

5. DAYDREAMING LAGI.

6. TUMATABA.

(check, check, check, check, check, ekis! kelan ba ko tumaba?! haha)

and all other quotes and text messages about love life came flowing in. yan ang napapala mo pag alam ng friends mo kung ano nangyari sayo. haha. pero kahit those quotes and text messages sometimes makes me remember ulit yung mga hindi na dapat naaalala kasi hindi naman masyado nakakatulong (hala bitter. hindee. ok na ko eh :p), part of me still feels thankful kasi it just goes to show that my friends are always there for me. tulad lang nung november 27, hindi ako umuwi after school kasi sa sobrang depressed tinakbuhan ko ang aking gorgeous bestfriends na si rach and pat. :) first time they saw me cry. haha fallen choleric ba ito? :p

pero, he was civil enough to talk to me and continue on with our relationship as friends. salamat porji. yung bayad ko sa essay ha. bwahahah. :p

siguro kaya rin hindi ako nakakapagblog during the past weeks kasi wala naman akong ibang makkwento kasi my mind and heart were greatly focused on what happened to me. tapos hindi ko pa ma-blog kasi everytime i try to start, i just can't finish it. hebigat pa ng feeling eh. so many mistakes were made, but those were lessons to learn. to those people who know me very well, alam nila na i tend to not come out in the open unless na lang pinalipas ko na yung panahon or napag-isipan ko na siya. hindi ako masyadong nagbblog ng emotional etceteras na spur of the moment. kaya ngayon lang ako nagbblog about this after one month. haha.

sa mga hindi nakakaalam na friends, try niyo na lang maka-relate sakin. (get a hint from the symptoms of zero love life *winkwink*) haha. or ask me about it, i'm more ready to speak up now coz i've learned to let go now. :)

yeaaah! christmas naaaaa. X)

# random thougths @ 11:08 AM